A common theme in my life and business now is very simply happiness. I wrote this latest column for The Nation Thailand newspaper thinking about the clients that are not happy with Pronto, and the impact that has on us. Sometimes we failed them, and that feels bad, and some people I realized we can’t please for a number of reasons. Anyway my thoughts.
Read more on The Nation website: The Nation Hi Managers May 4, 2009: When it’s time to fire a client
Returning home from a weekend at Hua Hin, fun times with friends from around the world – and one very special friend. Good to get out of town, wonderful to come home. Even if it is 102f/39c in Bangkok. After the drive home a jump in the pool was the prefect way to pick things up for the evening.
Down in Hua Hin pulled into the Hilton where the scorching heat was softened with an ocean breeze and quality time in the pool. The worst complaint of the weekend was “drank too much wine” which is probably my most common worst complaint. I’m sure there are worst ones – I’ll stick with the tried and true.
Sleeping was the highlight of the weekend. Arrived at the Hilton Hua Hin late Saturday morning and crawled into bed for a nap. Woke up, had lunch, went swimming and… fell into bed for another afternoon nap. Stayed out too late (see wine above) and dozed in bed until 8:30 AM Sunday morning which is unheard of for me. Had a big American breakfast and yes, you guessed it, crawled back into bed for another nap.
So life finds me well rested, if a little toasted. Around me some trouble swirls; not being able to see my son Cody, worrying about my little sister at the top of the list, but at the center there’s a peace that’s been missing for a while and whose return is most welcome.
Another Songkran has come, and is going in my life, counting the one before I moved here that makes 7 years of splashing and laughing and memories in and of themselves enough to satiate a lifetime.
A new year, a new life; reinvent. Everything is really possible, if there was just enough time, all the elements could just rearrange themselves into something just like this only a little different each time. And I’d be happy to do try each variation, I’ve got the time, or I dream so.
Today was an echo of a Songkran in years past, a trip up to Koh Kret outside Bangkok on the Chao Phraya river, a friend at my side, blistering heat and a lazy river wrapped around us. The tour boat ran out of gas, leaving us to drift in the river for quite a time with little happening, other than the skipper of our boat getting into a passing boat and leaving us.
In the past year, something very magical has happened. Into a broken heart, perhaps broken just enough to have a crack that allowed an essence of Thai soul to seep in, an essence I hadn’t quite grasped until now. This idle time on the boat was one such moment. Just waiting calmly in the face of events out of control. What else can we really do?
I’ve been getting this strong premonition that life is trying to teach me a very important lesson. Well, that’s clearly prima facia stupid to say. First off life isn’t trying to do anything, it just is. And second if life is trying to do anything, the first thing it would be doing is to teach you something. Heaven forbid life’s intention was to make you stupider. (Although that does appear at times what’s actually happening).
Sending an email off to a friend today I realized that an important “leaning moment” is unfolding in my life these days. Coming back on the bus from Hua Hin, after the annual Pronto team trip, bumping and rolling down the Thai roads, drawn to Bangkok as if ET, something occurred to me.
Success as an entrepreneur (maybe any success, but I’ll leave this at my personal experience), requires a burning internal impatience. Everything is going too slow and too wrong. Every now and then there’s a feeling of satisfaction but no sooner than that arrives something happens to make me unsettled. I get jumpy, nervous, and above all impatient. Things must change; now. I must start sending email from my phone, or making notes or something. Impatience is your friend. Fear is your guardian. You cannot stop running. You must change everything today, and that may be too late.
On the flip side is the very complicated situation of having the ability to see my son blocked. A Berlin wall between father and son. Some might call him my stepson, but I don’t buy it. We’re not in a hyphenated, sub-category of relationship. He’s my son and I’m his papa. Simple as that.
Sure it’s complicated, and as the talented Jules Shear sang, “I’ve never seen the weapon but the prints are mine”. I helped plant the seeds for what I sow. But a 6 year old boy sure as hell did not. But reap does he.
Standing in front of the immovable object, I must be the irresistible force. The irresistible force of water sculpting rocks, glaciers carving Yosemite; of time healing. And the lesson before me is one of infinite patience, where none of my impatient impenitence is going to help matters. It’s a kind of surrender married with blind faith. We just will be together again. It just MUST be. Someday.
Impatiently awaiting the lessons of patience, patiently tuning my impatience to my purpose, a paradoxical duality for sure. A heart-making, heartbreaking stir-fry.
In the silent roar that is life, in between all the holes in hearts looking for filling, one thing rings so true. The people in my life.
Today a dear friend took the time to be honest. That’s a gift not many people give you, a slap upside the head, a reminder of what’s important and a sharp head turn to true north.
Yesterday I had the wonderful gift of a long and soulful dinner with my son Cory. Of course, our business is the sun our conversations orbit, but our business is our hearts, so everything that really matters is so close to the surface. How do we make it right runs deeper than how do we make it money. We have to do both, but the imperative is clear.
Wednesday I drove about five hours each way to see my son Cody. He’s so big and growing it blows my mind. To have the time to look in his eyes, tell him what’s important, to read a book, to hug – mana from heaven.
Pronto turns out big for a wedding of a teammate on Saturday. In my inbox a typically erudite and witty mail from my daughter. My ex checks-in, no amount of water under the bridge washes away what matters.
All of you, friends and family, my beloved Pronto team, the good people in my life, are the meaning, the bedrock of all that matters in my life.
Outside my window a warm breeze ripples across the surface of the pool, Bangkok beckons, towering around me, so down-to-earth under my feet, and all around me, in this life are the people I love, bringing such richness and completeness. Forgive me if I forget to say I Love You. I do. Forgive me if I forget to say Thank You for being my life. You are.
Art above thanks to the amazing talent Elizabeth Brown.